I just don't know how I do it sometimes. Fall asleep, for one thing. Every single one of my bipolar medications is supposed to make me sleepy. What a joke. I never fall asleep quickly at night. Let me lay down in the middle of a work shift and I'll fall asleep within minutes! It's weird. I don't get it. My body is tired, my soul is tired, my eyes are tired, my emotions are tired. I don't think I'm necessarily going through a "phase" right now, I'm just fatigued all the time! I honestly don't think it's due to my medications, but what do I know? I'm not a doctor. I know my body, though, and something is just off.
Yesterday I worked from 6 a.m. to what was supposed to be 2 p.m., but I had a headache and laid down "for a minute" at about noon. That turned into me sleeping until 5 p.m. I didn't even mean to fall asleep. My joints ache all the time. The sleep that I do get is nonrestorative. I don't wake up feeling refreshed. I wake up feeling like I need to drink a gallon of coffee. My doctor restricted me to one cup a day, though, so that has been a joy. Not.
Maybe I am falling into a slightly depressed mood now that I think about it. I haven't showered in 4 days. Gross, I know. It's just too overwhelming. That's another thing. I've been getting way overstimulated lately and it causes me to snap at people. I try my hardest to have a cheerful disposition, but when there is too much going on at once in my head it's like my brain explodes a little bit and comes out of my mouth in words.
I honestly feel like I'm just talking out of my ass right now, but I urgently felt the need to put some words down where they belong. You may go on about your day now. <3
Showing posts with label coffee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coffee. Show all posts
My Happy Thoughts.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
I've had such a rough couple of weeks that seem to only be going downhill, as far as the way I physically feel, I thought I would be proactive in trying to remain positive by making a list of things that make me happy, things I love, and things that bring a smile to my face. I've been so exhausted, thinking it's just because I've been working a whole lot and life has been stressful. But, unfortunately, when combined with a few other things that are going on physically (everything minor by themselves, but as a whole creates a completely different and unexpected picture), it's much more than just simple exhaustion. I refuse to give up, to stop moving; I refuse to completely give in to the tiredness. There are always things that will bring me joy or just make me close my eyes and take me to another place.
- The sound of the ocean waves crashing and smelling the saltwater in the breeze.
- Compassion.
- The number 7.
- The smell of fried chicken cooking.
- Coffee. <3
- Being able to breathe deeply.
- Hearing my children laugh.
- Listening to music.
- Playing the piano.
- The color blue.
- Painting my nails.
- Writing long letters to people I love.
- Reading books while cuddled in a warm blanket.
- Sitting by a fire on a cold night.
- Helping someone in need.
- Road trips.
- Talking to my mom.
- Singing.
- Making sure other people know that they aren't alone in this world.
- Creating a piece of art.
- Restoring old furniture.
- Going through picture albums.
- Photography.
- Taking hikes through the woods.
- Camping.
- Canoeing down a river.
- Riding a horse.
- Tattoos.
- Eating mint ice cream with just a hint of chocolate.
- Making dinner from scratch.
- Curling up with my cat and napping.
- Watching movies all day.
- Playing with my daughters hair.
- Bringing awareness to mental health and suicide prevention.
- Telling someone "I love you."
- Cool gusts of air on a hot day.
- Roller coasters.
- Disney World.
- Window shopping.
- Going to places I have never been before.
- Meaningful hugs.
- Fresh fruit.
- A nice fitting pair of blue jeans.
- Camo.
- Cowboy boots.
- Hats and scarves.
- A thousand pair of earrings.
- Random acts of kindness.
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