Complete Bipolar Randomness.

There are just way too many thoughts and things (weird, unweird, undefined, upsetting, angry, silly) going through my head right now, it's making me dizzy... it's making me numb... it's making me feel like a zombie... makes me think of a Cranberries song (none of you probably remember the Cranberries)

If I'm not looking at you when you are talking to me, or seem like I am looking somewhere else, you might want to make sure I'm listening, because I'm probably not.

This picture is just too cute:

Coca Cola really does take all the bunk off a penny. I tested it out. It really makes me wonder what it does to my intestines.

I love chicken.

What exactly does "You're shitting me" mean, anyway?

I really cannot stand it when a song comes on the radio and I can't understand any of the words, because the singer does not sing the words clearly, or it just sounds like a bunch of gibberish (high five if you remember "wrapped up like a douche"). It's impossible to sing along to something like that, and it really sucks when it's to, otherwise, good music.

Marilyn Manson scares me.

Coming is spelling with ONE M, helping is spelled with ONE P, it is NOT dieing, it's dying; it is NOT lieing, it's lying. Come on, people, think back to oh, I don't know, 5th grade? There, their, they're, too, to, two, are, or, our, it, its, it's... there's a difference.

Wrinkly balls.

I had a guy give me the finger at a stoplight a couple of weeks ago for playing Christian music too loud. I thought it was kind of funny. I wanted to give him the finger back, but decided that probably wouldn't convey the right message.

I hate it when my cheese in my salsa won't melt properly. It's just..... gross.

I do not care if Jennifer and Brad aren't together anymore or who Brad is with now, or that Brad and Angelina are happy. I do not care that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are supposedly no longer in a blissful state of happiness. I do not care how many freaking kids Britney Spears has. I do not care what is happening on The Young and The Restless. I do not care I do not care I do not care. Why is any of this news?

Why do they put caloric intake on fast food table mats? I don't feel informed. I feel threatened. It might as well say "Eat this and you will die in 7 days."

I have looked at the microwave at least 5 times tonight in utter confusion because every time I've looked at it, it's said "00:41" on it. Maybe I should go push clear so that the actual time is showing instead of how many seconds were left the last time I nuked something.

Itchy ears and jalapenos.

Pauly Shore is just not funny anymore and I wish he would stop trying to be. I miss Encino Man.

Why can my ex-fiance, of whom I've been split from for 2-1/2 months now, take his ex-wife out to dinner with a bottle of wine "for the sake of being civil, for their children," even though "their children," who are like 21 and 25 or something like that (not really sure, honestly.. he never would talk about them to me.. I'll add that to the list of things he never talked to me about), are grown ass adults, but he can't be in the same room with me? Better yet, why is it taking me so long to realize how dumb I actually am?

I was holding a friends 8-month-old baby at church and he "spit up" all over my arm, front of my shirt and front of my pants. Then, he proceeded to break into a huge smile and laugh, which was cute, but when I looked down I just had to ask what the hell he had eaten. "Avocados and carrots." :/ My friends 6-year-old thought this was very funny. Later when I went to leave I gave the 6-year-old a hug and he realized too late that I pressed his head into the front of my shirt in doing so. I thought this was very funny.

Get jiggy with it.

I went to Google and typed in quotation marks "Barbara looks like" and got some hysterical results... the first one was "Barbara looks like a breadstick from Olive Garden." I put my ex-fiance's name in, too, just because. The first one that makes sense says, "___ looks like Ed Sheeran's ass." I'm not even lying.

This guy really likes to play the piano:




Why do they call it "quiche?" I don't like it.

Hey, guess what? "A lot" is TWO WORDS.

It is humanly impossible to lick your own elbow.

Trail mix is super good but I think it's making me constipated.

It really sucks working by production and not getting paid by the hour. Not because I don't want to do the work. I don't mind working at all. I type, just like I'm doing right now, so it's not something I don't love doing. Of course, I type words like "gastroesophageal" and "salpingo-oophorectomy" and "Staphylococcus aureus" and "psychotropic" and "taint" all night (just kidding about the last word) and have to put up with doctors who love to make my nights difficult by not speaking English correctly or not speaking it at all, but hey.. it's a living. What sucks is that if I have a hard time with a specific doctor and have to do that report slowly, I'm making less money than if the doctor would learn how to speak. Don't get me wrong, I have some amazing dictators; but some of them really suck. Oh, and I can't get up to go pee without losing money, either. Because I'm not typing. Get where I'm going with this? Good. Because I'm losing money by taking a break to write this blog. I try not to take breaks, but there is only so much I can take from one particular physician. Moving on....

I could stare at Jared Leto all day and night, and never get tired of it.

Wtf: