What Did You Say?

100 Thing Never Say To A Person With Bipolar Disorder (or any mental illness, for that matter)
(+7 bonus, just for added measure)



1. You don't care about anyone but yourself.    
2. The rest of us don't have a fun life either.    
3. You know, you are your own worst enemy.    
4. You are really dragging me down with you.    
5. Don't take it out on everyone else in your life.   
6. You would feel better if you lost some weight.
7. You are a total downer to be around.
8. We all have crosses to bear.
9. This too shall pass.
10. You'd feel better if you just went to church.
11. This is life. You'd better get used to it.
12. You deal with things so immaturely.
13. Snap out of it.
14. You are going to lose friends if you keep acting this way.
15. You are too hard on yourself.
16. You are embarrassing to be with.
17. If you don't like the way your life is, change it.
18. I know how you feel.
19. A lot of people have it worse than you do.
20. Try harder to be positive.
21. It's all in your head.
22. Just don't think about it.
23. You brought this on yourself.
24. You can overcome anything if you only set your mind to it.
25. Everybody has a bad day every once in a while.
26. Why can't you just be normal?
27. You really need to get a grip.
28. You cry too much.
29. You get too excited.
30. You are what you think.
31. Lighten up.
32. Are you taking your medication?
33. At least it's not that bad.
34. You think you've got problems...
35. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
36. Stop trying to get attention.
37. You really need to grow up.
38. I thought you were a lot stronger than that.
39. Life isn't fair.
40. What is your problem?
41. Have you gotten tired of being so self-centered?
42. You are nothing but drama.
43. You are overreacting again.
44. Everybody has mood swings.
45. You are crazy (or psycho, nuts, deranged, etc.).
46. There is something wrong with you.
47. You're not trying.
48. You'll never be capable of a relationship.
49. Just get a job.
50. I can't help you.
51. All you need to do is distract yourself.
52. Don't you want to get better?
53. Change your attitude.
54. Stop focusing on the bad stuff and just live for the good stuff.
55. Just pray about it.
56. Why can't you work?
57. Everything will look better in the morning.
58. Time heals all wounds.
59. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!
60. You create your own reality.
61. You don't look sick.
62. You have so many things to be thankful for, how can you be depressed?
63. You really just need to calm down.
64. I think you have more than just bipolar disorder.
65. No wonder no one can stand being around you.
66. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
67. You need to go see your psychiatrist again.
68. You are the reason I am the way I am.
69. Your faith isn't strong enough.
70. You aren't disabled.
71. Get a life.
72. You are smiling today, you must be cured.
73. Oh, you're depressed? Yeah, I was depressed for a while.
74. Think of all the people you'd be hurting if you ended your life.
75. There is no reason to hurt yourself.
76. It can't be that bad.
77. I don't believe there is such thing as mental illness.
78. Feeling sorry for ourselves, are we?
79. It's probably just stress.
80. You'll be better when life calms down.
81. You're always sick.
82. You can will yourself to be better.
83. I think you do this to punish me.
84. Your behavior makes me want to drink.
85. Why are you making yourself so miserable?
86. You could be better if you really wanted to.
87. You must not be living right.
88. You really don't need all those medications.
89. You'd feel better if you weren't taking those pills.
90. If you loved me, you wouldn't act this way.
91. Therapists don't help.
92. You are just being lazy.
93. If you won't change for you, at least change for [someone you love].
94. If you were right with God, this wouldn't be happening to you.
95. You'll be a better person because of it.
96. We all have battles.
97. You're wasting your life, you have so much potential.
98. Just let it go.
99. Why do you always have to play the victim?
100. You need therapy.
101. You just need to take care of yourself.
102. If you were exercising, I bet you wouldn't feel this way!
103. You just need to decide what's important to you.
104. The Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle.
105. Pull yourself together.
106. Stop wallowing in it.
107. And my biggest pet peeve: "Here is my advice......."

We don't need your advice. We need your support.

What is the most important thing to know about people who have mental illness(es)? We need your encouragement, acceptance, respect, empathy (not sympathy), compassion, understanding (education), patience, and friendship. What you say to someone struggling with bipolar disorder, or any MI, can make or break them. Some of the above things listed may seem like good advice or appropriate things to say; they aren't. By saying these things, in one way or another you are either minimizing, invalidating, or criticizing a persons illness and/or feelings/thought process. Honestly, we beat ourselves up enough, we really don't need your help. What you say could potentially trigger an episode, self-injury, or even suicidal ideation and/or actions. PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS. I understand that most things are said (most, not all - some are said out of complete ignorance or cruelty) with correct intentions and triggering is unintentional. That's why I'm giving you this list. I've heard them all. I'm sure there is more, but it's all I could think of. If you care about someone who has bipolar disorder, let them know by validating their emotions and what they are going through... not by comparing them to anyone or anything, stereotyping them, or tearing them down.

NEXT BLOG: Why each one of these are specifically not what you say.

Previous Blog: http://ramblingsofabipolarsoberchick.blogspot.com/2014/07/fallen-masks.html