Slightly Manic.

It's obvious to me that I've been just a little bit manic this past week. I know myself pretty well and definitely know my illness. Thankfully, it isn't the rage, irritable, throwing stuff, crying, wanting to slice my skin to bits manic. Rather, it's the happy, bubbly, little too much energy (if there is such a thing, especially with the completely opposite EXHAUSTION feeling I've been experiencing), laughing at EVERYTHING even if it's inappropriate manic. I actually enjoy this form of mania, because nothing in the world can bother me. I'm also even funnier than usual when I'm this type of manic, so people absolutely love being around me or reading my posts, because my usual sense of humor goes up about 3 notches and I post some ridiculously crazy stuff. I do believe, however, there is one downfall to the way I am feeling right now; okay, two downfalls.

1. I'm eventually going to crash. Where I will land, nobody knows. Not even me. That presents a problem, because I don't know if it will just be an "I'm really freaking tired and need to sleep for a week." crash, or if it will be a "What in the world was I so extremely happy about when my world is falling apart, now I just need to crawl into a very, very deep, black hole, where hopefully there is a little white rabbit in the bottom of it." crash.  Considering I've been doing very well for a while now, I think I'm just going to be tired, and remarkably what most people without mental illness consider normal.  That's funny.

2. I am overtly nice, thoughtful, loving, and carefree. Why would this be a problem? you ask. Because I tend to reach out to the wrong people. I think about people I still care about that I wish I didn't, that I really shouldn't be talking to, and I do something stupid like send them a message, knowing full well that I either won't get a response or they will just find a way to use my niceness against me, like say something like "Here she goes, she just won't go away." Trust me, I have every intention of KEEPING away, not just going away when I finally can. I am just crazily, insanely human, with feelings that I seem to feel deeper than everyone else, and it is the freaking curse of the Bipolar Disorder Conspiracy! Seriously, can anyone else with bipolar disorder relate to "feeling too much?"

Somebody flip the off switch and make the madness stop!

That is all...... for now.